Today I get to write from the perspective of a victor on the battlefield of life instead of a cheerleader on the sidelines urging on others in the fray. I had a breakthrough the other day and I wanted to share it with you all because I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person alive who deals with this. My hope is that I don’t lose you in the back-story and that this is coherent enough to help somebody else.
Last year, my wife and I began to read and learn from the materials produced by Dr. James B. Richards of Impact Ministries, http://www.impactministries.com/. We had been feeling “stuck” in several areas of our lives and were looking for some insight into why as well as how to break free. We read one of his more influential books titled, “Wired for Success, Programmed for Failure”. One of the tenets of the book is that the beliefs of our heart influence our sense of self-worth and act almost like a thermostat to regulate our lives and keep us within a range where our external lives line up with our internal image. If our success or our personal relationships threaten to take us out of our idea of what is “normal” for us, we do things subconciously to restore us to that “normal”. (Honestly folks, get the book! There’s way too much information backed by lots of research and his personal experience for me to accurately sum up in a few sentences!) As I processed that information, I began to see times in my life where I had sabotaged previously happy relationships. When I looked at my career and finances, it occurred to me that I had always obtained good employment and enough money to pay my bills and obligations with a little left over for enjoyment, but I never really prospered.
Eventually, I got fed up enough to actually seek out the root of my problem. My first assessment was that I was undeserving of success and happiness; a typical case of low self-worth. But this time I went deeper, because I realized that there had to be a trigger event. I found it. What it was doesn’t really matter because it’s mine, but suffice it to say there was guilt and shame on my part compounded by condemnation and hurtful words by someone in authority. Okay, I knew what the source was, but I still felt powerless to deal with it because I couldn’t forgive myself for my actions. That’s when the Holy Spirit stepped in. He reminded me that Christ died once for ALL SIN for ALL PEOPLE for ALL TIME! What right did I have to reject His gift of forgiveness when He paid such a heavy price for it?! So Tuesday night before I went to sleep, I asked God to help me forgive myself and receive the forgiveness for my sin that Christ died to provide.
Wednesday morning when I awoke, I felt different inside and I did something that day that I had been unable to do as late as Monday of this week: I asked someone to consider advertising their business in our Chorus’ September Show program. It may not seem like a big deal to you, but in the past, I had failed every attempt at sales because I didn’t believe I had anything to offer. I compounded things by taking the rejection personally and then feeling guilty when I didn’t try to sell! The physical stress and fear over selling anything brought me to a point where I couldn’t even approach people I knew well and I could barely talk to my own family!
Okay, so I’m doing better, but what should you take away from this?
- If you’re “stuck” in any area in life, you may unknowingly be the cause.
- Look for your trigger event(s).
- Receive God’s forgiveness for every sin and learn to forgive yourself!
- If you struggle with self-forgiveness, ask God to help. His Love prompted His sacrifice in the first place and He will not leave you to struggle and flop around in your mess…but you need to ask Him!
DISCLAIMER: It pains me to have to do this, but here goes… I am not, nor ever have been, a licensed therapist, counsellor, psychiatrist or doctor of any kind. What I have written here is based upon my personal learning and experience. The steps I have listed should NOT be considered as “medical advice” in any form. Your life experiences are different and your results may be as well. I do declare that Jesus Christ is the ONLY ONE who can heal everyone in body, mind and spirit.
Live in His Forgiveness
Live in His Freedom
Live for His Glory
God Bless You All
